once again, my younger brother, david was having a huge chip on his shoulder and once again, i freaked out on him and once again, he started crying like an 11 year old baby and once again, i told him to suck it up. for some reason my sibling relationship with my brother has vanished. once we used to get along just fine and then all the sudden he's telling me to shut up and he's telling me that i'm a horrible sister. is this some sort of phase? no. it's not. it keeps getting worse and worse. i blame my dad i know for a fact that my dad talks to my brother about me. daddy dearest is always the first person to 'tell it how it is' when he's talking about me. first off, i'm one of those ratty teenagers who don't give a damn about anything, apparently. well, dad? i do give a damn... about a lot of stuff actually.. just not you, so i guess what you say is true since you think that you are the center of the god given universe. no, i don't care about your school stuff, or the fact that you're new girlfriend sucks ass in karate or that the yankees are playing the phillies this weekend. i do not care. kapeesh? wanna know something horrible? i don't tell my own father that i love him anymore. it's true. i just realized that the other day when i got off the phone with him. his last words were "alright kel, i'll see you tomorrow.. i love you" and to that i said something along the lines of... "yepp". then i hung up. that's it. once i thought about it... i realized that i haven't told him that i loved him in a couple weeks now, maybe even months. is that some sort of sign? is that the cliche neon light up sign with flashing lights and big ass arrows that always points out the most underground emotions? god, i hope. i mean, i get along more with my dad's ex girlfriend and her kids than i do with him. i actually make the effort to talk to them and i always tell them how much i love them.. i would never block their calls and i actually have fun when i'm with them. my dad is slowly turning me and my brother against eachother because of three main reasons. 1] my brother is still madly in love with baseball. me? ehhh.. it's wearing off a bit. 2] my brother actually likes hanging out with my dad. i try as hard as i can to prove to my own father that i hate being with him and 3] my brother is 11. he will believe anything that my father says to him. me? i'm 16 and i can actually figure out that my dad is a jerk. david? not so much. i think that's why i've been so emotional lately. i've been reflecting on my past and i think that because i have so many mixed feelings about it... i don't know what to do. i think i'm done crying. i think i'm ready to move on. i'm ready for my father to move far, far away from here. | 
